July 15, 2013
On the link posted before, this is actually suggestion 23, I believe.
Yet, long before I knew that I was dealing with a condition, exercise was my numer 1 coping mechanism. When I was sudo-diagnosed as a little ADHD cub, my mother said “If society requires my cub to take meds to fit in, maybe society should change.” All to say, while other cubs ran off to the nurse during lunch hour for their Ritalin, I struggled through extra hours of homework each night….until I discovered sports. In about 7th grade, I started joining all the teams I could and my grades went up. Eventually, even on vacation, I knew that when I worked out, I could focus more and my moods didn’t swing as much: exercise decreased the amplitude of my emotional sign curve. Eventually, I kept working out to the point of walking on to a college team, and going pro for a few years after college. But after a while, when training up to 6 hours a day: the endorphines stopped working. More working out simply wouldn’t induce more endorphines. Eventually, I started getting sad again, no matter how much I worked out. That part definitely contributed to performance highs and lows, and eventually getting cut from my team. I realized at that point that no amount of hard work would lead to getting faster. Instead it was time to take a serious look at my life balance and psychological health as whole.
Thankfully, the rest of life has lots of interesting challenges. When not working out all the time, there is more time for lovely things like, a meaningful and income producing job! A loving romantic relationship! Choosing which city (and climate) one lives in! While the past few years have been filled with weeks and months of go-getter adrenaline that has landed me an interesting well paying career opportunities, a loving mate, and a comfortable cave, I still struggle with having enough time and energy to self-medicate with exercise. And I struggle with knowing that even if I do more, and more and more, it will never be enough again.
This week, I’ve broken my back paw (while exercising moderately), and am totally exhausted, and struggle with getting up or walking outside. All to say, exercise is amazing. Exercise can also defeat the purpose of hormone release, and cause more stress as well. Or sometime, while bears feel super under-the-weather, its nice to have other options too.
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