Bucket o Tears

Mama said there’ll be days are like this

September 9, 2013

Actually mine would probably say “suck it up, its all in your head.” Which it is. But that still doesn’t make the emotions any less real. Sometime times it just throws me into a deep weeping, like someone I love just died. I don’t know how to control it. I’ve noticed a pattern in my life, where I’ll obsess over some flaw– like my eating habits in college trying to be as lean as an athlete as possible, or after college, when the national team coach told me to put on as much weight as possible and I couldn’t, or other times—when I felt something about me was wrong and keeping me from living a full life. I would pick at it like a pimple hoping it would go away, but really just opens up and squirts puss everywhere. By obsessing, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.